Another reason I don't sleep at night

besides the general money situation, the general grief situation (better but still struggling), and the state of the world:

Truffle has a tumor. She'll have it out on Wednesday and then we'll know if it is benign or malign. I have already made the decisions necessary in each case.

If there is a metastasis, she'll get what it takes to make her life as comfortable and happy as it can be. I will not gamble her quality of life for a chance at a probably not much lengthened life: it's not fair to do that for a dog. For a human being, who can weigh today's misery against the possibility of next year's health, and whose life expectancy is much longer anyway, the choice is more complicated and personal.

Anyway, I won't know for a week or so whether that's even a relevant issue. For today, she's a lively, affectionate dog, whose bloodwork for her hormone issues is normal and who is hoping that because I am not at work already, today might be a beach day (no, I'm just on a different schedule, but I'll take her when I run errands before work).