Zanzjan points to a travel game, which I lose at

( this map thingy shows I am a stick in the mud )

Claytonia whatsis: no, wait, Stellaria probably littoralis

( flower neepery and big picture )

a story-seed conversation I don't need

Sonny leaned back and put his feet up on the chair next to him. Pete didn't bother telling him to put his feet down: the deck of the coffee house wasn't going to fill up today. The clouds were just sitting up there right now, but they were churning around the edges, as if debating the question of rain.

"I've been thinking," Sonny said. Pete didn't bother to say the obvious: he let his eyebrows say it for him. Sonny was looking seriously contemplative, which was maybe a first. But he was no more forthcoming than usual. He stirred his coffee, grimacing as if he expected the milk was sour.

Finally Pete said, "What have you been thinking, Sonny?"

Sonny didn't look up. He bit his lip, hard enough to make a white mark. "You ever read a romance novel?"

"Not unless they've got AI and FTL," Pete said. "Bujold, at the very least."

Sonny latched on to this admission as an excuse not to continue. "Faster than light travel is such bullshit," he said.

"Yeah, but it makes good stories, and that's not what you were talking about," Pete said. "What about romance novels?"

"I figured out I've been in a bunch of romance novels, but I'm the other guy."

"What other guy?"

"There's always a suitable lover and an unsuitable lover. They have contrasting characters. One's dangerous, one's safe. One's funloving, one's serious. One's dashing, one's modest. It can go either way. The difference is that the suitable lover is inherently lovable and has integrity and loyalty and the unsuitable lover is a schmuck. When the protagonist figures this out, she dumps the unsuitable lover -- or sometimes she figures it out because the unsuitable lover dumps her. Anyway. That's me, the unsuitable lover."

"You just figured out that you're a schmuck?" Peter asked. "It's not news."

"No, I've known I was a jerk for a long time. But I just figured out why I can't change even when I do different things. It's because I have a mission in life. I'm the guy you date so you can recognize the real deal when you find him."

Pete snorted. Taking time to clean his coffee off his shirt, he said, "Did I just hear you justify your bullshit by saying it's good for the people you fool around with?"

Sonny shook his head. "No. There's no excuse. But man, look at the dumbshit things I've done. How can one man make so many bad moves in one lifetime? It can't be an accident."

Pete nodded his head. "Well, it's no secret that all your exes have been a lot better off without you."