Edward Kent Trollman, 5/20/1950 -- 8/19/2008

[ritaxis]

The nice fellow died this morning. It was almost completely unexpected. He had been ill for a while, enough to scare me. But I couldn't get him to the doctor until a week ago. Today was his last dose of antibiotic, he wasn't getting better, and Frank and I were trying to get him to the doctor and he just stopped breathing while I was trying to put pants on him and Frank did CPR until the paramedics came and he just stopped.

That's not why I've been quiet for a while. I could actually blame Frank being home for that, but honestly, it was more burnout and the Sims.

The nice fellow and I were planning a few days off for me, and we were going to go to the White Mountains to commune with the bristlecone pines. Just before he died we were revising our plans to go to Point Reyes/Drake's Bay because he didn't think he could handle high altitudes while he was recovering from bronchitis.

On Sunday we walked three miles -- just to the end of the wharf and back, to see the Polynesian festival -- he had to stop every so often and sit for a bit, and he couldn't stick around for the music, but he was able to enjoy himself and I thought he was getting better. Yesterday he was a lot worse, and I was planning to go in to work late so I could watch out for him and get him to the doctor today.

I'm not cold-hearted. I did some crying earlier, and I will do it again, but right now I'm going to lose myself online for a bit.

I'm pissed that I didn't have enough warning to sing "our songs" to him.

Maybe play Sims, maybe catch up on his favorite websites.

Comments

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

I was so sorry to hear about the nice fellow's death. It's difficult to take in as he was just one year older than G. I'm glad that Frank is at home with you, for his sake as well as yours.

Take care of yourselves.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[pariyal.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Hang in there! {{hugs}}

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[beth-bernobich.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Oh Lucy, how awful for you.

I never met him or heard about him except from you here and on usenet, yet I'm on the verge of incredulous tears.

In the midst of life we are in death, all the time. No comfort, except thinking it was a good life well lived, but so short!

I feel a strong urge to rush round with food, if only it wasn't so far.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

many messages many places

[katiekin.livejournal.com]

Hi Lucy -- I'm leaving messages in all the places I know. Will call later today.

My love to you and Emma and Frank.

May many arms comfort you today and the next days.

Katie

Re: many messages many places

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

I have finally got round to this. I appreciated hearing your voice. Give my love again to your mother.

[pnkrokhockeymom.livejournal.com]

Oh, Lucy! I am so sorry for your loss. I'm very glad Frank is there. Please know that I'm thinking of you. I will check in a while and see if there is anything I can do. In the interim, if you think of anything or just want to chat, please let me know.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

I'm so terribly sorry. My sympathies to you and Frank and Emma and all the nice fellows family and friends.

Don't forget to take care of yourself.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[shana.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[james-nicoll.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[thomasyan.livejournal.com]

Oh, Lucy, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[momomom.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, even to a 2nd degree stranger from the internet that is so unexpected and hard to believe. I'm so sorry for you and Frank and all your family and friends.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[carolf.livejournal.com]

Condolences. Shock. Tears.

I never met the nice fellow, of course, but I saw him through your words, and I know he will be missed. Whenever you mentioned him, it was obvious that he complemented you, and that the two of you had a great synergy together. I think you are a rare bird; the nice fellow must have been one, too. The world needs every rare bird it can find. So I know he will be missed.

I hope Emma can join you and Frank soon.

Don't worry about sounding cold, or anything else. Mourning is as intimate as sex. We all do it, sometime, but we all do it just a bit differently, on different schedules. We each have our individual sensitive spots. Whatever you do out of love for the nice fellow and those close to you is not only fine, but right.

I'll be thinking of you.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[carbonel]

Oh, Lucy, I'm so sorry.

I only met him (and you) the once, but it was a lovely time.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

that was a nice night, wasn't it? Thank you for remembering it.

[sophielandon.livejournal.com]

Lucy, I am indeed so sorry to hear this.

(Thanks to Brooks for letting MakingLight know.)

joann, from ML and rasfc

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

that was a nice night, wasn't it? Thank you for remembering it.

[cynthia1960.livejournal.com]

Lucy, I'm very sorry for your loss.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[anghara.livejournal.com]

It must be devastating. I'm so sorry, Lucy.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

KateS passed the news on to me; I send condolences, as one who's had bronchitis a few times. It's one of the few ailments that will make me go to a doctor.

Strength.

Tom Whitmore

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[annafdd.livejournal.com]

Oh Lucy. I wish I had the words. I wish I had them in a few days, and in a few years, and every morning from now on. The Other Anna told me while I was at work and I have been dreading reading LJ since then.

A life well lived, love lived and expressed - they are the victories that count, you know.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

Lucy,

Very sorry news.I have many happy memories of bickering with you all in your happy home. I am glad Frank is there with you. I miss you all and I will miss Ed forever.

-Miguel

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you -- Miguel, are you coming back to the Bay Area before Frank leaves on September 21?

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

Lucy, he was a wonderful man, and I'm so sorry he's gone.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[redbird]

I'm so sorry.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry to hear this.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[brownnicky.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry Lucy.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

[kathryn-ironic.livejournal.com]

Lucy,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you.

Thinking of you and your family

[(Anonymous)]

Lucy,
I have such bright memories of you and Ted when the kids were little and we all used to visit so much more often. Please know that I'm here and that I'm holding all of you in my heart.
Mischa

Re: Thinking of you and your family

[ritaxis.livejournal.com]

thank you, and thanks for the call too-- I saved your pnumber, but honestly I'm still neurotic about picking up the phone.